All parents seek to raise their children for them to become happy and good people, and many of the parents focus on their kids’ self-esteem and happiness. Research indicates that many parents believe self-esteem and happiness are the foundation for morality. The “feeling of good” leads to “doing good”. However, self-esteem does not always breed a responsible and caring person. As a matter of fact many of the gang leaders and greedy corporate executives have a high self-esteem. The factors to consider in focusing on raising a child that is responsible and caring include:
As opposed to telling children that the most important quality is to be happy, consider telling them that the most important quality is becoming responsible and kind to others.
Encourage the children to help around the home by doing several chores. Teach the children to treat babysitters, waiters, and store clerks with respect. Also, discourage the children from writing off friends simply because they were offended. In addition, train the child to avoid quitting a school course or a sports team without considering carefully with them the repercussions of their actions to the group.
The relationship you have with the children is the primary model for other relationships. As a result you should discourage any attempts by the children to treat you disrespectfully. Encourage them to be thankful and grateful for your contribution in their life such as driving them to school and other events.
Although it is important to encourage children to understand and articulate feelings, parents should be careful to avoid focusing too much on them. Focusing on passing emotions is likely to encourage the children to dramatize and exaggerate their feelings, making their feelings the most important thing.
Parents should avoid focusing directly on developing the children’s self-esteem and happiness; instead, they should seek to support the children to develop into maturity. Maturity involves empathizing, managing destructive feelings, balancing & coordinating their needs with those of others, receiving feedback constructively, adjusting behaviors and being reflective.
Parents should avoid praising the children for their specific accomplishments but instead commend them for their efforts in realizing great success. When parents get into the habit of praising the children for their accomplishments they are likely to feel judged or condemned if they fail to achieve good results. On the other hand in case of success praise is likely to inflate their level of importance.
It is important for every parent to help their children to register justice and injustice, kindness and unkindness in the world. Be prepared to give your children an ear, without judging them quickly as a result of the child’s moral dilemma and questions. Be ready to express your values and seek to connect them with the child’s experience and interpretations.
Hannah Taylor is a freelance writer and a student; she takes great interest writing contents about Entertainment such as music, celebrities, movies and TV series. Her last blog was about the mother of two celebrity teenagers Sheryl Pouls.