The fact that over 50% of all marriages end up in divorce is a clear indication that most people are finding it more and more difficult to sustain relationships these days. This can be attributed to the fact that most people do not have realistic expectations when it comes to relationships and marriage. For instance, if you are the kind of person who watches a lot of TV, chances are that you have this mental image of someone who is perfect and flawless as your future partner.
However, the truth is that there is no person alive who has all the attributes that are considered to be ‘perfect’; relationships are all about compromise. This means that when you are out looking to form a partnership with someone, you have to have realistic expectations which will then guide your behavior in the relationship. Some of the things you can expect include:
Being human comes with a major flaw: it also means that you are likely to make mistakes and even repeat them in future. When you meet anyone in life and start dating them, you should always keep in mind that they are human, and that they will definitely disappoint you from time to time. Knowing this will make it easier for you to cope with such issues, and in many cases it will be the only thing that keeps the two of you together. Though it sounds like a major compromise, it is always more than worth it since it increases the chances of you and them ending up together for the rest of your life.
Most people who get into relationships often do things that they expect will be reciprocated at some point in time. For instance, you may make a major sacrifice just for the sake of your loved one. However, when you do this, it is not always wise to expect that they will do the same for you. Different people have different ways of showing that they care, so you should not expect them to do the same for you to show that they care. Keeping this in mind is one of the best things you can do for yourself since it ensures that you don’t get disillusioned due to feeling like you are the only one making an effort even if in actual fact you are not.
The major reason why most people choose to cheat on their loved ones is because they get bored very fast. During the initial courtship stage, you are likely to woo your loved one with a lot of effort just to impress them. If you are keen on making that relationship sustained, you should make a point of keeping this up, as not doing so could lead to major problems later on. Ways of avoiding boredom include not falling into regular routines and also spicing up your sex life such as through the use of different toys from time to time.
Most people think that relationships fail because men don’t know how to communicate. Communication is a key element in any relationship, but most of them fail because of a failure of communication from both parties. When you get into a relationship, you should avoid doing things such as assuming that the other person knows what you want without you telling them. This will only lead to frustration on both ends, since they will not know why you are not happy and you will not be satisfied with the relationship since you aren’t getting what you want.
A relationship is between two people, and this is the way it should be kept if you want it to keep going. Involving other people such as your friends and family members in intimate relationship matters will only make your partner feel uncomfortable, and this may make the relationship more unstable. If you have to involve any other party in solving relationship disputes or anything of the sort, you would be better off getting a professional such as a counsellor. This way, you will also avoid making your friends or family members polarized by forcing them to take sides.
The fact of the matter is that relationships usually need a lot of work in order to succeed. However, making sure that you work hard at them will always be worth it, since you will have happiness that many people can only dream about.
Jodie is a relationship coach who advocates for more open communication to enhance the quality of relationships. She also advocates for the use of items such as men’s adult toys to make relationships more fun.